Does it worth it in the end?

When you believe that you are strong, things get better after all...

You realize that you are caught up between yourself ( you, the person that you are) and the rest of the World? What happens when, wherever you look you see so much beautiful things, but yet you realize that there's so much pain, sufferance and sadness that everything just falls apart and the beauty just gets crushed. What happens my friend, with those with a humble, carrying, good, honest heart, that you crush everyday with your ignorance and no respect? With you superiority and ignorant attitude that you have? What happens to those that pulled you out from your shit over and over again because you can't be responsible, manage your time in the right way, finish things in time and you don't even have the face to open your eyes and admit that you made a mistake, you don't have the balls to be right, you don't have the guts to stand up for just once.

We rush in life because we want to do so many things and we have so little time left and forget about the importance of small things, gestures, we don't have time. This is what we say " Sorry, I would really like to, but I'm  so busy and I will have to skip it" and then, we go home believing that we did so many things. Let me tell you something...you did indeed many things, but you forgot to be a simple human being. Between your important meetings from your busy agenda you forgot to be fair and right. But you know what is the saddest part? When you talk about the Lord and His Love, how much you believe in Him, how much you read the Bible, how much you thank God for everything that He is doing in your life and how is this the right way to go, fallow Jesus.

I'm not a priest or that person that reads 3 times a day the Bible, but I know that He is not selfish nor mean, He is not crushing anyone in His way to His own glory nor using anyone or anything to reach out the highest peak. He is not selfish. So at least have the dignity and just shut up because hearing these words coming out from these kind of peoples mouths, it just makes me throw up and wanting to tell you in the face how little you are. Hmm....it just makes me sad, that a person who talks and lives by His way is acting like this. Don't force things just for the sake of looking good in front of people. Don't forget that you don't have to have a degree to realize when somebody is fake....Pathetic rat, you make me sick.


I feel sorry for you...nothing more, nothing less. You say that "we are living in a crazy World, but at the end you are contributing to its craziness by giving an attitude to those that you can afford to. So, please, next time when you are going home, look in the mirror and think about the entire day, how and what did you do. You will be amazed what person will you discover. Shame on you....

You brought me back...

      For those who know me or read my blog, they know that the ways of life were not easy for me and I went through some "interesting" times. It is amazing how life turns 360 degrees around and you find happiness, hope and trust when you think that everything is lost. It is amazing how the path that you have to go, is put down in front of you when you feel the most lost person on Earth. It is amazing how, thanks to someone, or some event, or something that just happened randomly, suddenly everything makes sense, suddenly everything remainder's you of who you really are and like a new born, you can see the day light.

And now, my dear reader you are wondering what I'm talking about??? No, I did not go crazy, at least not for now, not yet :D It happened that this week, with no mood to work and socialize and these kind of things, happened that I met one of the greatest person. 

Did you ever wondered why certain things happened or are already happening? Did you ever wish to just disappear or just to turn to the next page of your life because the page that you are on, it sucks and you just want to just wipe the pain  away, because you did nothing wrong to deserve it, but still everything around you falls apart. But, when you reach that point that you are just numb, you can not be hurt anymore because you are drowned in your own pain and tears, you are, just to be and nothing matters anymore, something happens and suddenly you see things with different eyes. It happened this week to meet a very special person, a photographer,editor,cameraman and so much more : Marvin Orellana. He came together with Peter Clark to make a movie with one of our clients for training material and it happened to spend with them 2 days in Reghin. Honestly, when I found out on Tuesday, I was not so happy about it because I was just tired and I knew that it will take us the entire day to take those shootings and I wasn't in the mood, but I had to go to help in with the translation and as I can not be rude with people ( not talking and all that) because is just not in my nature, I gave in my best and I did everything to help in with the shooting, interview and all. And you know what? It turned out to be one of the best days of my life, for a very , long time. In these two days I have found myself...I realized so many things and yes my dear friend, thanks to you Marvin, I realized that the old me is there inside and was never gone. You might not realize everything that you've done, you might know just a part of my life and not know the entire picture...but you did such a simple but at the same time huge thing. "Small things make the difference" and we need the right persons sometimes next to u, eve if it is just for a very sort time, to make us remember who we really are. Despite everything that happened in the past months, when I thought that this is it, nothing is going to be ok anymore...I am happy! I'm happy even if things still fall apart around me, even if everything is grey and nothing seams to be working out, I am happy. I'm hurt, broken and sad, but I am happy inside. My heart is "smiling". I feel so much hope, faith and happiness in my heart that I'm about to sparkle like a bright light in the middle of a sad November. I wish I could have always beside me people like Marvin...

I remember when I was a volunteer at AIESEC and FNO I used to work with these great people that were having every single day an impact in somebody's life, thanks to their passion, hope, believe that things can be changed and someday the World would be different. No matter how hard was everything, we never stoped believing, hoping and fighting for what we believed in. Back then, I remember that I did not have an easy life either, but no matter how hard was everything and I had to fight for my beliefs, I was happy. I had this inner glow, this inner "power" that no one could take it away, no one could turn it off. And it wasn't because we were moving mountains or something like that...It was because of the people. Being there for someone when no one else was it meant the World to them. Seeing that change in peoples life day by day it was more than enough for us to keep doing what we were doing. Time was invested in these people, very much time, but the reward received from them was much more, all the hard work that was done, it worth it in the end. People broth light and so much happiness in my life. Because I believed, because I gave a chance to those to who no one else did. This is why I love to work with people. People are amazingly magical. They can brake and fix you. They can bring sparkles in your life. They are like fireworks. I can not describe the rewarding feeling that I got back, but I can say that it worth it!!! I don't regret not even 1 minute of all the things that I did for and with them, because I know that deep, somewhere in their hearts, the sparkle is there and I know that a change was made. 

So Marvin I really want to thank you for reminding of "the old me". Thank you for all those great memories that I will keep close. Thank you for all your jokes and little stories that were so funny. Thank you for simply being you. Thank you for all the fun that we had. It meant a lot to me. You opened my eyes. "I was lost, but I am found". I don't know if we will ever see each other ( though I hope that you'll keep your promise :P ) I thank you for everything that you've done in these two days, that you were here. You are an amazing person, don't you ever forget that!!! Wish I could write down everything that I feel inside so that you can understand and see...because for me it was important. No matter in which part of this World will we be...I will always remember you my dear friend, Marvin....